Columbus makes a questionable list of "most-boring" cities

But there are boring things here, to be sure

Columbus is one of the 10 most-boring cities in the nation, according to FinanceBuzz. It’s a financial advice website that, like most websites, has figured out that rankings, no matter how flimsy their premise, are a reliable way to get clicks.

Among the criteria for this list of “most-boring”cities were: population makeup (Columbus was judged to have too many old people); culinary scene (although more-reliable sources than FinanceBuzz have praised ours); outdoor activities; nightlife and celebration; and things to do (overly general category, don’t you think?).

A lot of this was based on certain data points, such as number of nightclubs per capita and number of restaurants in the Yelp 100.

Where else is boring, according to FinanceBuzz? Well, Jacksonville, Fla., was declared No. 1 in boringness, followed by Wichita, Kansas; Corpus Christi, Texas; Sioux Falls, South Dakota; Memphis, Tennessee; San Antonio, Texas; Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; Columbus; Tallahassee. Florida; and Phoenix, Arizona.

On the other end of the scale, Atlanta claimed the title of least boring, followed by Miami, St. Louis, Orlando, New York, Washington, Minneapolis, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City and San Francisco.

I’m pretty sure I could go into cities on both ends of the boring list and find plenty to do. I’m also pretty sure I can’t fathom the idea of Orlando being more exciting than New York and Washington. But I really have expertise only in one city — Columbus, which I categorically deny is boring when considered as a whole. There are, however, boring elements, which I will now review.

These are the three most boring things about Columbus:

No. 1: The weather. We get too little snow. If you’re going to be a four-season city, you need reliable snow to lend winter some magic. Otherwise, it’s like three months inside a freezer. Short of importing snow from Cleveland, there’s nothing we can do about this, so we’ll have to compensate in other ways.

No. 2: Mass transit. We don’t have enough. Making it easy for people to get around is how a city sets the stage for excitement, not to mention livability. For that reason alone, I’d kick Orlando — famous for car-dependence and low walkability — off the list of “least-boring cities,” theme parks notwithstanding. I should note that Columbus, having voted to give COTA a lot more money, has some prospect of getting better in transit.

No. 3: Dramatic sights. Columbus has a presentable skyline, but it’s not out of the ordinary for a big city. It has artworks but not a signature artwork. It has a nice network of parks and trails but not breathtaking nature. The skyline and artworks we can improve. Not much to be done about the lack of awe-inspiring nature. We can’t import a mountain range.

Otherwise, I think we’re doing fine. Plenty to do and see here for anyone with an open mind and a credit card. Come visit us in the eighth most-boring city in the nation — if you can stand the excitement.